Can Hashimoto's be reversed?

Hashimoto's is a chronic autoimmune condition, but antibody levels and symptoms can often be significantly improved when the underlying drivers are addressed. Many people are able to reduce antibodies, feel substantially better, and in some cases lower their medication needs in partnership with their physician.

Do I still need thyroid medication?

Often yes, at least initially. Functional nutrition is not a replacement for thyroid medication. It works alongside your medical care to address the immune and lifestyle factors that medication alone does not. Any medication changes should always be made with your prescribing provider.

Do I have to go gluten-free with Hashimoto's?

Not necessarily for everyone, though many people with Hashimoto's do notice improvement when removing gluten, particularly if they have gluten sensitivity or celiac disease. The right approach is individualized rather than universal.

Is weight gain in perimenopause inevitable?

No. While the metabolic changes of perimenopause make weight management harder, they are not insurmountable. Addressing blood sugar, protein, muscle, sleep, and stress can meaningfully shift how your body responds, even when previous approaches have stopped working.

Can nutrition really help my perimenopause symptoms?

Yes. Nutrition and lifestyle won't stop the hormonal transition itself, but they powerfully influence how you experience it, affecting energy, mood, sleep, weight, and inflammation.

Do I need hormone replacement therapy for perimenopause?

That's a decision to make with your physician. Hormone therapy is appropriate and helpful for many women, and functional nutrition works alongside it rather than replacing it.

When Love Touches our Sore Spots

Ever find yourself thinking, “Why did I act like that? Why did I get so mad? Why did I start crying? It was such a little thing.” Sometimes, when we interact with others and we jump to a conclusion about how things are supposed to go, we surprise ourselves with what comes up. Within the context of intimate relationships, just because we feel those feelings and notice big reactions, it does not mean that it is not a good match. Instead, it can just mean that we are grappling with something important, and that it is being highlighted within a relational context.

If we think about our most vulnerable selves, when we access our most core feelings, we are likely to be intimately involved. That means our activation of parts can be heightened the most when we are in relationship with others. Intimacy can activate us because it can bring up attachment needs around secure base and safe haven. Will this person stay? Will they leave? Are they going to be here for me through the thick and thin? Will I be able to be there for them in those times, in ways that they find helpful? Will I have enough space to be myself? Will I get smothered?

As we start to get to know what we have ourselves neglected to notice and know on a deeper level, we are only more likely to engage with a partner in a way that may be more protective of self than attuned to the other. But what does that mean exactly? How do we know if we are more protective and less attuned? Protectors can take many forms. Maybe Gottman’s Four Horsemen come out. We might become critical, contemptuous, defensive, or stonewall. As Sue Johnson might argue, we pursue or withdraw. We might attack or attempt to control. Sometimes, we are even tempted to give up.

Attunement feels different. It signals to us that there is a difference in another person. This is not threatening. Though, we might notice that how we experience ourselves or how we experience the world feels very different from how our partner experiences self, others, and the world. With attunement, we mentalize. We reflect, validate, and we come to understand without intimidation.

When we think about Internal Family Systems, we often talk in parts. Parts are separate from self. They signal historical vulnerabilities and offer protection to keep self from being harmed. Our internal activations are embedded within a relationship system with our partner, which is embedded within an even broader context of life around us. Racism, transphobia, and xenophobia are examples of how larger systems contribute to both conscious and unconscious protectors being rooted within our nervous system.

In fact, we do not develop protectors without an interaction with the environment around us. When we came “out” to family and friends, how did they respond? When someone notices an accent, did they respond with interest or criticism? Our vulnerabilities or “sore spots” often become painful exiles that need protecting, where our core self no longer feels safe.

The Gottmans talk often about having partners turn toward one another, though I would also recommend first turning toward ourselves. We can ask ourselves, “what is happening inside of me right now?” This is when we begin to really understand and know ourselves. When a partner’s family is not accepting of the relationship, and we hear our partner defending them, maybe even furious that this could represent internalized homophobia or internalized racism, we may find ourselves thinking “How could they do this to me? Why aren’t they able to see my pain?” Though, turning toward ourselves would include us acknowledging, “I’m scared. I’m fearful of the potential lack of acceptance, and this reminds me of…”

Let’s think through a specific example. Partner A finds that they have never fit in as a mixed, biracial person. Perhaps some assumed they were white, while others assumed they were Black. However, their chronic experience may have been that they never felt they were accepted by either race. Now, they begin to go out with their partner to parties, where they do not feel seen as a person of color. Instead, they notice that their white partner often ignores their constant plea that they would like to go to events where racial diversity is more present. When Partner B hears this, they say, “What does it matter? People probably don’t even know you’re mixed.” Partner A immediately feels angry and wants to explode. Partner A thinks about how Partner B could never understand, that Partner B does not even care. Then, Partner A pauses and realizes that something feels scary, even threatening. Partner A’s internal dialogue may sound like: “Will Partner B ever really care about the experience of not feeling accepted? If they never understand that, will they ever understand me? What if I end up feeling just as alone as I did when I was growing up? If I end up in a relationship that resembles the same pain of childhood, I am not only terrified but also threatened.” That would feel too risky for Partner A, to the point where they may even feel the urge to leave the relationship completely, because on some level of Partner A’s nervous system, safety is critical; core self must be protected.

To be clear, as Partner A puts in the work to understand what’s happening, this does not result in mere “acceptance.” In fact, Partner B’s dismissal must be confronted. Partner A must confront the need to be claimed. This might sound like Partner A saying, “I really need you to understand why this is important to me. When you dismiss me and say my mixed-ness doesn’t matter to you, that just replicates how others have not seen my racial experience my whole life. I want to know that I’m not alone in this relationship, that I can belong with you. That includes me knowing you see me as a biracial person who craves being in spaces where I feel represented.”

Turning toward ourselves to then turn toward our partner allows us to ask for accountability with a greater self-awareness of what we ourselves may be needing the most. Sometimes, when we notice strong emotional reactions, we might be quick to think that the relationship is not right, that it is not “meant to be,” or that something is inherently “wrong.” This could not be further from the case. Instead, it is a way that we can notice and understand aspects of self to better understand the complex loop of how self then interacts with the environment and then self can either reinforce or challenge the relational context that we navigate.

References

Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York, NY: Basic Books.

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.

Johnson, S. M. (2004). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Brunner-Routledge.

Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal family systems therapy. Guilford Press.

Bio

Amelia Hasbun, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples therapy. Her work is grounded in a systems-oriented, integrative approach that draws heavily on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). She has a particular interest in working with intercultural and interracial couples, as well as queer and LGBTQIA+ partnerships. Amelia is passionate about exploring how culture, identity, family histories, and lived experiences shape intimacy and relational dynamics. Her approach emphasizes curiosity, vulnerability, differentiation, and deeper attunement. She is a member of the New England Association for Family Therapy (NEAFAST), the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and the Psychodynamic Couple and Family Institute of New England (PCFINE). She maintains a private practice in Worcester and Northborough, Massachusetts.

https://amelia-hasbun.clientsecure.me/